You Can’t Date In New York City

To preface, I’m a 28 year old African American & Irish straight male, born in Aurora, Colorado. My credits include Video Editor on ESPN program ‘Around The Horn’, Producer with Fox Radio Affiliates in Denver & NYC, Production & Publicist Assistant at more than 30 New York Fashion Week Shows, Showroom Assistant at Herschel Supply Company, yadda yadda & I’m a singer. So, all of that, the fact that I’m very confident & almost never uncomfortable, easy on the eyes with no baggage or children, and also, The New York Culturalist, I probably get all the girls, right? Not so fast. 
Nobody “gets all the girls” anymore. Human attention is oversaturated with very little physical interaction happening. There’s too many of us & too many social media profiles. Attention is available ad nauseum. You can be the perfect person & fall for your obvious match & it will 100% fail, why, because nobody wants one like. We want ten likes. One hundred likes. One beautiful person calling you beautiful is special, one thousand people calling you beautiful is intoxicating, and there’s no way around it anymore. Ever notice a girl with a profile pic & she just looks stunning in that little barely visible circular thumbnail; click on her page & see that she has thousands of followers? All of those followers think she’s stunning too, and there’s just no time to spend on figuring out who is or isn’t too weird. Friends don’t go bowling, go to parks, go to the movies. Everything is instant gratification. Shots at dive bars. Swipes on Tinder. What’s the WiFi password here? Now now more now. 
There’s no time to get to know people & their energy, we’re all pretty into whatever is on our screen right now & will look up when something requires us to. I’ve had situations with women in my years in the city & none of them have been good. There is a level of social awkwardness we have as a culture subconsciously mastered, we just don’t know how to treat each other IRL. 50% of marriages end in divorce, I’m not friends with any of my ex’s & dating in New York City just seems like an enormous waste of everyone’s time. When I see a couple, I think, “It sucks that they’ll hate each other one day.” And that’s usually the end of that thought. 
Perhaps New York City Millennials are supposed to be the generation that ends the whole ‘cradle to the grave’ thing everybody has been programmed to believe in. Maybe this inability to procure someone’s full attention is a product of us mentally evolving into a self aware species. Or, we’re just really self involved & addicted to our phones. Either way, the whole dating thing seems antiquated anyway, and honestly, the word ‘lovers’ just bums me out these days unless it’s in the middle of the words ‘meat’ & ‘pizza’.


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