Beyonce Wins The Super Bowl

It’s been 24 hours since Super Bowl 50, & thus begins a long off season of pointless chatter about who is retiring or being traded or doing steroids or whatever. Football is a fun sport to watch as it’s being played. Sure, grown men hitting each other while drunk morons throw money at them is a bit antiquated, but it’s fun. We should have more fun things happen to distract us from the sometimes not fun realities of our lives. Von Miller recording 2.5 sacks & forcing two fumbles made it so obvious he was the best player on the field in Sunday’s game, and so, he was awarded the Most Valuable Player Award; but be very clear, Beyonce was the real MVP. I watched the game with 40 friends in a house in Williamsburg, some guys who liked the Panthers, some guys who loved the Broncos (me), some girls who loved the Broncos, some girls who didn’t really give a shit either way, and a few people who just like to hang & drink beer. None of us were ever on the same emotional/social page, as should be expected from a 40 person party, until, Beyonce.

Chris Martin, hahaha. That was us.
Bruno Mars, he’s pretty good. Also us. 
Beyonce. Silence. Attention. 100 million people.

She’s done this before, sold tens of millions of albums, went on tour with her husband/rap god, it’s really nothing new. Take a quick second to read the lyrics to the song she performed, “Formation”, and I’ll take this opinion piece home. As per genius.com:

FORMATION LYRICS

[Intro: Messy Mya]
What happened at the New Wil’ins?
Bitch, I’m back by popular demand

[Refrain: Beyoncé]
Y’all haters corny with that illuminati mess
Paparazzi, catch my fly, and my cocky fresh
I’m so reckless when I rock my Givenchy dress (stylin’)
I’m so possessive so I rock his Roc necklaces
My daddy Alabama, Momma Louisiana
You mix that negro with that Creole make a Texas bama
I like my baby hair with baby hair and afros
I like my negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils
Earned all this money but they never take the country out me
I got a hot sauce in my bag, swag

[Interlude: Messy Mya + Big Freedia]
Oh yeah, baby, oh yeah I, ohhhhh, oh, yes, I like that
I did not come to play with you hoes, haha
I came to slay, bitch
I like cornbreads and collard greens, bitch
Oh, yes, you besta believe it

[Refrain: Beyoncé]
Y’all haters corny with that illuminati mess
Paparazzi, catch my fly, and my cocky fresh
I’m so reckless when I rock my Givenchy dress (stylin’)
I’m so possessive so I rock his Roc necklaces
My daddy Alabama, Momma Louisiana
You mix that negro with that Creole make a Texas bama
I like my baby hair with baby hair and afros
I like my negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils
Earned all this money but they never take the country out me
I got a hot sauce in my bag, swag

[Chorus: Beyoncé]
I see it, I want it, I stunt, yellow-bone it
I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it
I twirl on them haters, albino alligators
El Camino with the seat low, sippin’ Cuervo with no chaser
Sometimes I go off (I go off), I go hard (I go hard)
Get what’s mine (take what’s mine), I’m a star (I’m a star)
Cause I slay (slay), I slay (hey), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)
All day (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)
We gon’ slay (slay), gon’ slay (okay), we slay (okay), I slay (okay)
I slay (okay), okay (okay), I slay (okay), okay, okay, okay, okay
Okay, okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation, cause I slay
Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation, cause I slay
Prove to me you got some coordination, cause I slay
Slay trick, or you get eliminated

[Verse 1: Beyoncé]
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
If he hit it right, I might take him on a flight on my chopper, cause I slay
Drop him off at the mall, let him buy some J’s, let him shop up, cause I slay
I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay
I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay
You just might be a black Bill Gates in the making, cause I slay
I just might be a black Bill Gates in the making

[Chorus: Beyoncé]
I see it, I want it, I stunt, yellow-bone it
I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it
I twirl on them haters, albino alligators
El Camino with the seat low, sippin’ Cuervo with no chaser
Sometimes I go off (I go off), I go hard (I go hard)
Get what’s mine (take what’s mine), I’m a star (I’m a star)
Cause I slay (slay), I slay (hey), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)
All day (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)
We gon’ slay (slay), gon’ slay (okay), we slay (okay), I slay (okay)
I slay (okay), okay (okay), I slay (okay), okay, okay, okay, okay
Okay, okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation, cause I slay
Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation, cause I slay
Prove to me you got some coordination, cause I slay
Slay trick, or you get eliminated

[Bridge: Beyoncé]
Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation, I slay
Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation
You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation
Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper

[Outro]
Girl, I hear some thunder
Golly, look at that water, boy, oh lord
[Outro]

Now, I’m not going to split any hairs or attempt to break down any of the lyrics in any way because this person’s art shouldn’t ever be dissected & itemized. I will however, say “Well, got damn.”

If you WERE to nitpick & ruin the art with your irrelevant take on it, you might say “Well, she’s clearly profiting off of the attention being paid to #BlackLivesMatter” or “She shouldn’t be attacking the police by dressing her back up dancers in afros while doing essentially a Black Panthers impression, police protect us.” As the “hosts” of Fox & Friends & Rudy Guliani did this morning. Are you right? Do you make valid points? Who gives a fuck! I like my music dripping with social commentary. I like my pop culture moments enshrined in bitterness from people too out of touch & closed minded to appreciate it. Peyton Manning plugged Budweiser (even though Coors Field is literally blocks away from Sports Authority Field?) Eli Manning was sad because he’s basically Copper now, commercials were underwhelming, nobody dabbed & Beyonce won the Super Bowl. There ya go, ESPN. No further recap necessary.

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